Tag Archives: Wedding Planning


whoosh, superhero, wedding, cyanide & happinessI’ve had this sort of mental blockage. I mean, OBV. I haven’t been here in forever and a half. But it’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’ve been SILLY busy. I’ve been blogging over at Broke-Ass Bride and a little over at Jackson’s newest dining blog, Dishing, and trying to pimp my awesome self out (shameless self-plug) AND maintaining my real job. It’s a little amazing I have my own head on straight right now.

I’m super stoked, because I just got hired by BAB to be the new accounts manager. I’ve been picking up more and more side jobs (you guys, social media? SUPER WHERE IT’S AT). Aussie starts his new job in a few days. Summer is trying really really really hard to break through in the valley. Yeah … it’s all a little cray up in here.

But, I’m leaving in two days. Going on a 10-day vacation. Hanging out with mi surrogate familia. Going somewhere I’ve never been. There’s a possibility of horse races. There’s a confirmation on tons of bourbon and I even get to go to the Louisville Slugger factory (OMG!!!). I get to go watch my girl, one of my favorite people, get married.

I’ve been to a handful of weddings, mostly aunts and uncles. I’ve never seen a friend, at least one my age (I was there for the bride’s mother’s wedding), take the plunge. Knowing how she’s feeling, what she’s going through, the stress, anticipation, anxiety, giddiness … all I want to do is make things easier, more peaceful, for her and those around her.

So, as I told her sister, mother and her, I’ll be donning my superhero cape for the next week. I’m taking away all close cellphones the day before. I’m going to make sure people are where they need to be, when they need to be there. I’ll slip the bride, mom and sister a flask of whiskey if necessary. I’ma do this, because I remember this feeling. And her mom and my best friend did it for me on my wedding day. It’s time for me to pay it forward.

It was nearly a year ago that I was in a similar boat. Though, I think by going to Hawaii, we made it significantly easier on ourselves. Less people, less logistical issues, more chillin’. But, don’t get me wrong, there was still an extremely palpable amount of stress. And so much of that comes from expectations — expectations you put on yourself, expectations from family, expectations from friends, expectations you put on others. When it’s over and that feeling of ease — nay, relief — washes over you, that’s when you realize how many expectations were all-consuming.

So, my job, one that I wasn’t asked to do but will do because it needs to be done, will be to manage those expectations in a way that helps reduce everyone else’s stress. And I’m excited about doing so, because I want my Shannyface to have an amazing and wonderful experience. I want Kellyface to be able to enjoy watching her sis get hitched. I want Mamaface to be the emotional blob I know she will be without any nagging quandaries. I got this.

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Ugh. I know. SUPER slacker. But I’ve got some good stuff in store. I have a Front and Center post from my friend Becca‘s family portrait photographer who is pretty rad and needs some exposure. So, Denver-area peeps, play close attention. Not in the D-town area? No need to fret. She travels.

And THEN … I have a new guest poster who is in the throes of wedding planning. Becca ALSO introduced me to her and her blog, The Thrifty Social Worker, and when I contacted her about possibly guest-starring, she was all about it.

In the meantime, for this slacking blogger, I’ve been trying to work my butt off getting extra work so I can one day stop going into the office (biggest dream EVER).

So, I promise kiddos, that I will return my attention to you and all will once again be right again.


Photo: Tati Cotliar by Jason Kibbler for Twin #5 via Fashion Gone Rogue

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Throughout the engagement and planning process, much like the question we hear now, nearly everyone around us would ask us the same thing, or a variant of such:

How are you doing?

How are you feeling?

Are you nervous/anxious/ready?

We understood it was all well-intentioned.

During the earlier stages, the question was one that would invite a lengthy response which usually corresponded with more intricate details about plans, ideas, giddiness, etc.

However in the immediate days prior, it became like that damn mosquito that hovers near your ear when you’re trying to sleep, just to flit out of reach as you go to conquer it.

It felt as though every time someone asked us, we melted a little more, and not in a good way.

This all came to a head the night before, during a joint family barbeque put on by mi familia. We were tired, frazzled, anxious, overwhelmed, underwhelmed … we were, indeed, ALL THE THINGS.

We appreciated, and still do, everything everyone did for us. But at that point, we’d traveled for three days, had reunions galore from halfway around the world, partied for our hens and stags, missed one marriage license appointment, had another that very morning, finalized all the details, had some miscommunication meltdowns with the coordinator, done a run-through, were under pressure to see everyone we hadn’t, got lost on the way to the barbeque and here we were. With many asking us how we were feeling.

Cue: Meltdown.

It, unfortunately, was one of my sweet, poor, unsuspecting aunts who triggered it. Luckily, she’s got a good head on her shoulders and took it quite well when I turned to her and said:

“Quite honestly, if one more person asks me that question, I’m going to lose it.”

I then stepped away, with Aussie, and cried. Not for being sad, not for being scared. Just for being so overwrought with emotion and stress and pressure. We tried to return to the party, but we couldn’t even finish a beer. A sure sign we were finito.

Luckily, our amazing photographers who’d been there, done that, and my super awesome pseudo-mama, Sooz, took notice. The three came over and told us, under no uncertain terms, that it was quite all right for us to bow out and go back to the hotel.

So we did.

We flopped on our bed, curled up together and just stared. After a while we put on an episode of whatever show we were watching at the time. And we passed out.

We really did appreciate all the concern and checking in, but weddings are hard. I’m happy we didn’t go ‘zilla, but it wasn’t a graceful moment.

Planning weddings is stressful. Being around a ton of family and friends, especially when you haven’t seen them in a while, can be stressful. Add all the elements together? It’s a recipe for implosion.

We survived, obviously, and being with our friends the next morning helped to ease the tension.

We learned, through this experience, that even though we knew the wedding wasn’t about just us, nor was it just about our families, etc., it was about weathering the storm together. It was likely (maybe with the exception of a moment or two during the hens/stags) our most graceless moment, and one I’m not happy about.

But, it did set up boundaries, boundaries we badly needed. We needed to step away and just have some us time, time we hadn’t been able to have up until that point. It’s unfortunate it took that moment, those actions, for us to realize it, but that set up a template for us to be able to recognize it in the future. Which makes knowing what we need, what our boundaries are, not so tough right now.

Juju Ivanyuk by Ben Hassett for Numéro #128 on Fashion Gone Rogue
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It’s fun to watch right now. My friends who got engaged about the same time I did are getting married. And new friends are engaged. And in a couple years’, or a year’s, time, they’ll get married. And surely by then, even more friends will be engaged. And the cycle will begin again.

I have one friend who is getting married this weekend and I’m thrilled beyond for her. I have three more who’ve all gotten hitched between now and when Aussie and I did. I have one who is so unbelievably mum about her planning that it’s driving me crazy with anticipation. I have one very, very special friend who is getting married next summer. And she’s just beginning the planning process.

I’ve watched with sheer enthrallment as they’ve experienced similar pains, excitements, trials and tribulations as to what I experienced. I get pangs of flashbacks as the stress sets in and as the giddiness overflows.

Congratulations to all of you. May your love forever overshadow the hell of planning and may your wedding day be just one step toward a lifetime of happiness.

Photo Via The Knotty Bride.
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And Now We …

Hurry up and wait.

I mean, there’s not much else we can do. Tweak the ceremony? Slowly but surely. Get a vague idea of bar/food? Vaguely. Crunch numbers over and over and over? Crunching. Shit, if the numbers were my abs, I’d have a freaking 12-pack by now.

It’s kind of making me stir-crazy. The weather isn’t nice enough to go play outside to get my mind off of it. I’ve already scrubbed the oven and the refrigerator. I have NO freelance work right now.

I’ve been pretty much winning the Interwebz.

And waiting …

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Gulp …

Ok, not sure what’s causing this … but

I might be freaking out a little.


Maybe it’s because we really are getting close. Maybe it’s because I have not yet figured out who can alter my dress for a good price. Maybe it’s because I haven’t ordered the pinwheels, or his hat, or figured out what hors d’oeuvres we’re serving.

Or maybe it’s because I’m a tight ass when it comes to money and when I finally sat down today and figured out where we were at and what we have left …


Sure, we’re in a fine spot because we’ve pretty much got all the material shizz we need. But then I realized we have the BIG STUFF ahead of us. Like food. And booze. And hotel. And rental car. Guh.

I know we can do it, but it’s daunting. It’s scary. Sure we have our tax returns and 5 more months to save some cash-money, yo, but it’s still scurrrrryyy.

I know I know. I just need to chill because it’ll all work itself out and it’ll be fine. I know this. But for now, I’m going to hide my panic in some Dr. Who and a bottle of wine. Mmmkay?


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Baby steps … or more like Jolly Green Giant steps

Ok, so horrible stuff aside, we’ve made some great strides in Weddingland.

I got the dress. I got the shoes. And they fit!!! But …

We’ve also booked our wonderful, amazing, fantastical photographer. Introducing …

The lovely Kat and her equally awesome husband, Justin, from Persimmon Images. Check ’em out:


I found Kat via The Broke-Ass Bride thebrokeassbride.com/, which is one of the awesome sites that have helped me maintain sanity.

Alllssssoooo … I’ve gotten some more brooches, which the beyond-all-amazingness Kath (aka Leigh’s mum) has been working on for me. But, my darlings, I need more. Keep those eyeballs peeled!!!

I’ve decided I’m doing a veil (gasp! shock!) and am still looking for a tiara.

Aaaaannnndddd … get readdy to dance everyone. And yes, girls, that means you. You’ll be shakin’ those boootttaaaayys down the aisle with Leigh’s homeboys. Song shall be determined at a later date, but I promise you’ll be OK with it. And yes, Jelly, we will drink beforehand. Don’t you worry.

I’m still working on hair ideas, and makeup … because, let’s face it, I’m NO pro with those face shades. And we’re finding Leigh SHORTS (yes, he’s decided shorts. I win?).

Get ready for some fun, Kids. And bring the Advil.


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Ok, feeling better and ready for more.

During this ‘hiatus’ I’ve actually figured out some pretty great wedding stuff. And it was really nice to step back, distract myself with other things and take a deep breath.

First: Eff flowers. Well, not entirely, but pretty largely. The girls will all have a small bouquet, likely of orchids. Buttttt, this is what I’m doing.


So, if anyone has any brooches or pins or stumbles upon them … I need like 60-80 total.

Leigh and I went shopping for wedding bands the other day, and given the shape of my ring, I’d likely have to get a custom band to ‘fit’ with it. The standard band is not something I’m totally gaga about following. In fact, I want to do this:

Tiny Text - Thin Posey Ring - custom made with your choice of inscription in sterling silver by Kathryn Riechert

I found them on etsy.com. I’ll get my own phrase on it … something that means something to me and Leigh. And they’re cheap. Like $28 cheap. As opposed to the custom one, which was $900-$1200. Ack!!!

And, finally, Leigh has decided on the kilt. There was a time when he was just going to go with khaki shorts, but he wants to represent his Scottish heritage, and I respect that. He’s going to change into shorts for the reception, but he wants to wear the kilt while we express our commitment to one another.

Kilt - Ancient Hunter Sport Kilt

So, there you have it. Some things figured out, some still up in the air. We’re still working on finding a good photog, and have expanded beyond the Islands. Turns out, it may be cheaper to fly someone from the mainland and get EXACTLY what we want. Who knew?


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I’m tired.

Many of you have already heard me whinge about this, but the effing Olympics are ruining my life.

Well, not really the Olympics, per se. It’s more like the timing of the Olympics. How they’re an hour behind us, how I end up having to stay to add something last minute, like ‘So and So who we haven’t been following in the World Cup and who was a mediocre player in the last nine Winter Games’ has managed to finish fourth in qualifying, which isn’t even a final — but! Oh! Isn’t it just intriguing nonetheless, so why shouldn’t we include it as a small little brief in addition to everything else I’ve already piecemealed together.

Oh, and the fact that they’re the WINTER games. As if my life wasn’t already tossed about during the winter, trying to fit in every aspect of chores and friends and relationships into half days and still be able to dedicate one solid day to doing the one thing I look anxiously forward to for months without having to worry about getting everything else done, but to add long days for very little satisfaction on top of it all! Well, shit. I’m just out of fumes.

And – on top of it – there’s this little thing called a wedding I’m trying to plan.

I’m exhausted. I don’t sleep well, what with roommates and neighbors constantly stomping about in ski boots and two boys-turned-bulldozers sleeping in my room.

I think it may be time for me to put the big W-planning on the back burner for a bit. There’s just not much I can do at this point without really jumping the gun. Let shit simmer for a bit, yeah? Enjoy this lovely winter wonderland. Compile a mass of ideas so I can properly arrange my thoughts.

Or at least get my fucking save the dates out at some point.

I shall blog again … very soon. But it may be a bit more about life beyond the planning. Like this dream of a real life.

Off to bed.


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